By Arjun Ahluwalia
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. I sat in complete darkness, as the sound of my clock resonated
throughout my room. Everyone was fast asleep. Everyone but me. This growing sense of
dread starts to consume me. I tried to breathe, but my chest seizes. I tried to scream for help, but my voice cannot get through. Besides, who would want to listen to someone like me, I thought. No matter what I did, no matter how much I tried to get someone's attention, I always failed. I even decided to take the wrong path, be with the wrong people, and wear a mask that did not suit me. But no matter what I did, I was ignored. It had come to a point where I could not process anything around me. I had stagnated. I hated myself, and thoughts of just dropping on the floor and laying there forever filled my head. Perhaps someone would notice me then.
Thoughts and events like these were a regular occurrence in my late middle school and early
high school years. I compared myself to others around me. Everyone scaled new heights and
began aiming higher. They were writing their own stories and playing the heroic role.
Whereas, I was just a lowly side character. I wanted to restart this entire game I was stuck
inside. Little did I know that I was about to meet a trigger that would unravel me from this
mess.
9th grade came along and everything appeared to be the same - me wallowing away in
negativity while others were out there seeking glory. As I walk towards the bus-bay, looking
at the people around me, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, only to stare at a boy
wearing this silly grin on his face. I recognised him as one of my classmates. He introduced
himself and asked if he could walk with me. Something about this felt a bit off and I could
not shake away this weird feeling, but I decided to let him tag along anyways.
Our first conversation was a bit single-sided, with him just talking on and on about different
topics. We had to part ways after we found our buses. What a weird kid, I thought. I found a
seat on my bus, and as I sat there reminiscing about the conversation, I realised why it felt so
off. That was the first time somebody noticed me as a person. He was able to strike a
chord inside me. He made me realise that perhaps I have a chance to turn things around and
that the only way to progress is by growing up. I could probably be noticed for who I am. I
had to broaden my view. I understood that I am in charge of my story, and it is up to me to
decide what happens on this wild journey.
Bringing a change in my attitude was laborious at first. I had to change a lot of things about
me. I had to get rid of my behaviour, cut off ties with all the bad company I had gotten
myself into, and try finding ways to interact with my surroundings. And this list just went on.
But I couldn't give up. I needed to do all of this. I needed to adapt, or I would be stuck in the
dark alleyways of my mind. Luckily, all my efforts paid off. I was changing. I was escaping
this prison I trapped myself in. For the first time, I had a foundation for all my dreams. I had
found my defining characteristics and discovered how to manipulate these to my advantage. I met various people and made so many new friends. I was finally forging a new path for
myself, and I was able to scale obstacles faster than most people. It took some time, but I was able to catch up to those I admired. I finally have everything within my grasp and I am not going to let it slip away.
My point is that everyone is in charge of writing their own stories. A plot always has its
twists and turns but you will find your way around this. Bringing about a change is hard, but
it is even harder to accept it. If you ever feel ignored or lonely, remember to take a step back
and be patient. One day, your voice will break all these walls around you, and with every
passing moment, your voice will grow louder. And never convince yourself that you are just
a mere side character. You are the main character in your play and there is always room for
development. The feeling of betrayal, sadness and other negative emotions is just another
way to learn a lesson and you have to decide whether you want to accept these teachings.
Your fate is in your hand, and do not let anybody take that away from you.
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